Dear W Letter

 

Dear W,

We’ve been sleeping together for 15 years.  We have grown familiar with each other – and we’ve grown old together. Except I go to the gym and try and stay in shape – and I’m sad to say that you don’t. So here’s the deal. I’m leaving you.

Yes, I might miss those evenings in the king-sized bed, but here’s what I won’t miss. You’re not as fun as you used to be.  I remember when I first met you, the room was clean – I could actually see our future out of the window across Times Square. And the bathroom shower worked. The air conditioning duct didn’t fall out when I bumped into it. And every light bulb seemed to glow when I turned the lights on. You’ve really let yourself go.  The colors you are wearing are the colors of 15 years ago. Everything is bland and what used to look fashionable, now looks faded. Room service arrives when you don’t request it and when you want it, it never shows up!

It’s not me, it’s you.  You bought me extra drinks to hide the cracks – you’ve upgraded my room because the previous one was broken or I couldn’t see out of the dirt-caked window. But you know, the time has come.  It’s not working.  The kids have grown up. I’m moving on.  I don’t even want to be your friend.  And I might even share this break-up with my buddy TripAdvisor.

No longer yours,

Peter

 

 

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