Chapter 2 – Top 5 Things You Need to Know about Snow
I’m learning things about snow that I never cared to know. And yet now that I know, I feel richer, a more well-rounded citizen. I thought I’d share with you:
- Ice Dams are a thing and they can crush your roof. The best of all these tips is the last one (move to Florida).
- There won’t be a Boston Snow Party. Much to the chagrin of pun people everywhere, snow can’t just be dumped into the ocean. Well it can, but then the fish might die and Legal Sea Foods new slogan could be, “If it doesn’t taste like snow melt, it’s not legal.”
- Jet-Engine propelled snow plows are a thing, It’s called Snowzilla and watching the video just forces the question. Are we living in the 80s when it comes to snow removal? You bet. Using a giant hair dryer to clear railway lines is as good as it gets.
- Snow Farms are also a thing Or a misnomer really, as they don’t grow snow here. It just gets dumped, sometimes into a giant furnace. So why do they call it a farm? Horses, cows, vegetables, corn – that’s what I think of when I think of a farm. So this isn’t really a farm. I just don’t really know who came up with this word for a wasteland to dump snow. Maybe next spring, unaccountable alien forms will start growing in this space.
- Men driving 10 ton snow plows are working 16 hour days. Everyone, let’s face it. Wants just a few hours riding high on a snow plow. What a feeling, pulling the lever, dumping the salt, clearing the snow. Working through the night. These guys are the real heroes of our city. Where’s their Duck Boat Parade?