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Dear W Letter

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Dear W,

We’ve been sleeping together for 15 years.  We have grown familiar with each other – and we’ve grown old together. Except I go to the gym and try and stay in shape – and I’m sad to say that you don’t. So here’s the deal. I’m leaving you.

Yes, I might miss those evenings in the king-sized bed, but here’s what I won’t miss. You’re not as fun as you used to be.  I remember when I first met you, the room was clean – I could actually see our future out of the window across Times Square. And the bathroom shower worked. The air conditioning duct didn’t fall out when I bumped into it. And every light bulb seemed to glow when I turned the lights on. You’ve really let yourself go.  The colors you are wearing are the colors of 15 years ago. Everything is bland and what used to look fashionable, now looks faded. Room service arrives when you don’t request it and when you want it, it never shows up!

It’s not me, it’s you.  You bought me extra drinks to hide the cracks – you’ve upgraded my room because the previous one was broken or I couldn’t see out of the dirt-caked window. But you know, the time has come.  It’s not working.  The kids have grown up. I’m moving on.  I don’t even want to be your friend.  And I might even share this break-up with my buddy TripAdvisor.

No longer yours,

Peter

 

 

Asparagus Season

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Asparagus Season

The season of asparagus is on us. In Germany it’s practically a religious institution. Spargel is everywhere. They put dollops of hollandaise on top to negate the healthy calories of the green, but what I love most about asparagus season is wandering through the supermarkets of Paris. In France the true delicacy of the asparagus season, is white asparagus. So how is it done? How do you sap the color from asparagus?

It’s simple, you deprive it of light, like in Plato’s cave. That process is called etiolation and it’s supposed to make the stalks weaker. There’s something fabulous about white asparagus, cultivated as it is, under a cover of earth. Its texture and taste are completely different. The season is now – it’s much thicker than a regular stalk of asparagus; more brittle and simply delicious.

So why does it taste so damn good? I have a theory. Imagine you’ve been buried under a mound of earth for the whole winter, and suddenly someone comes and shows you the sun. It brings color to your cheeks and a smile to your face…before of course you are plunged into boiling hot water and served to someone like me. Incidentally be careful of pairing with wine. Asparagus is not great with tannic red or oaked wines – unless of course you slather it with hollandaise.  Luckily for those who can’t imagine a meal unaccompanied by wine, Fiona Beckett at Matching Food and Wine – has put together a helpful list of wine and asparagus pairings.

The Acela Train That Couldn’t

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Not to rag on the ACELA train that services the Boston – New York – Washington corridor, but it is a particularly painful experience, costly and inefficient. Compare the Limoliner at $89 where the wireless works, the seats are like first class on an airplane and you get movies to boot vs. the ACELA at anywhere between $130 – $275 where the wireless rarely works, the service on board in first class is a joke and in business class non-existent and there are no movies. Not to mention that you leave from a beat up station like South Station in Boston and arrive at one of the most horrendous in the world, Penn Station in NY. It’s grimy, it’s confusing, it’s full of people who seem to not be catching trains.

And you wonder why America runs on Dunkin’ or buses rather than trains. The journey time is more or less the same, except you have a far greater chance of being delayed on the train, than on the bus. But it’s the service that really stands out. The Limoliner wants you to come back. Amtrak doesn’t care and what’s more, given that the price is half the price of a one-way ticket by air, you would think that the appeal of the train would inspire Amtrak to try and make me want to come back.

I haven’t given up, but I find it incredibly frustrating that in this day and age, when trains are flying along in Asia and Europe at speeds of 200mph or more with friendly service and efficiency, that we seem still to be tied up with a ragged antiquated system along the Eastern seaboard, which is a prime artery for train travel. Boston to Washington, DC (about the same mileage) takes roughly 7 hours and that’s on the fast train. We could learn a thing or two from the Italians: Rome to Milan – about 362 miles in just under 3 hours.

 

5 Ways to Make Sure Your Flight Goes and That You’re on it

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So what do you do when the forces of nature or mechanical problems cause a cancellation? Get rebooked ASAP because more often than not it’s first-come, first-served.  I misconnected on a flight from Geneva to London recently and eventually when I arrived at Heathrow it seemed that the whole world had suffered delays. The lines were unspeakably long; airline staff was pushed to the limits and I knew it would take me more hours than I had to connect to a flight that would get me back to Boston. This is where it pays to do the unconventional – don’t follow the crowds! Think quickly.  I went out through passport control, pretended I was arriving in London, went immediately up to departures, (pleasantly queue-free) and checked my options there. It worked!

In these days of trending away from travel agents and into DIY travel, you leave yourself exposed to the long lines that are choking your options, and the not-so-friendly folks who are overloaded too.  Does this sound terrible? Well, not really because it doesn’t happen as much as you think. But when it does happen and you’re stuck in this vortex of panic – be aware and be ahead of the game. Firstly, get to the front of queue as fast as possible.  If you have a responsive travel agency (like ACIS!) that booked your flights, contact them immediately – they can see things and evaluate a whole ton of options that will take you hours to figure out. Be alert and notice the signs of a potentially cancelled flight: delay, upon delay, upon delay, with very little explanation. And probably the hardest part for most people – you have to walk the fine line of being pushy, without being a pain. Airline personnel are invariably nicer to the nice people who understand what they’re going through as well. Get nasty and they’ll get nasty too.

Fun facts that would be nice in a carefree and no money limits world.

  1. Fly Internationally – these planes are huge and expensive to cancel.
  2. Don’t fly across the street – regional flights are 3x as likely to be cancelled than larger planes.  And they suck. There’s no room for bags and if you thought the drinks tray was scant on a big plane, you gotta check out the scene on one of these babies. And let’s face it, when those planes change direction it’s not subtle.
  3. Be important – seriously. No one is going to cancel Brad Pitt’s plane, assuming he doesn’t have his own. If you’re not important, look important.
  4. Borrow a kid – families get priorities on rebooking. Traveling solo? Saddle up next to a family of 5 and strike up a conversation. It helps if it’s Brad Pitt’s family.
  5. Avoid high season – flights are packed so if yours gets cancelled, good luck squeezing onto another one; winter travel is easier to rebook than summer travel so chances are you’ll be re-booked faster in the winter than in the summer when the airlines have less capacity to play with. Sure, it might mean a ski holiday or a freezing fortnight in Europe rather than a balmy Paris in July holiday, but these are the cards we are dealt!

Forget the list and take your chances – Imagine a world without delays, without mechanicals and with lovely weather. May the force be with you. The stats are.

A Season to forget

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The clocks moved forward, the snow is gradually disappearing and warmer days in the Northeast are coming. But what a winter this has been – and what havoc it has wreaked on the airline industry and the poor passengers who fly on their planes. Flights have been cancelled for mechanical and weather-related issues, you name it and it’s happened. It all added up to a very un-pretty scene of disgruntled passengers and airline employees desperately trying to be nice. There are always those un-nice ones that secretly do this for a living, because they hate you so much. But during the dreaded storms of February, they were often left without options to be nice with. It’s helpful to know why the flight got cancelled: a mechanical problem means that the airline will cover your accommodations. A snowstorm?….hope you brought your sleeping bag because that means you’re sleeping at the airport. Bottom line is to stay calm and try to figure out what’s going on as fast as possible.

So what is the real cost factor for the airlines on a cancelled flight, and what are the driving forces that cause one flight to cancel and another to fly? There was a great article in the Wall Street Journal by Scott McCartney. Here’s the lowdown: To cancel a 50-passenger regional jet can cost as little as $1,000. But cancelling a journey over the Atlantic can cost as much as $43,000. And a typical domestic narrow-bodied jet costs around $15,000 to cancel. If cancellations are caused by uncontrollable events like weather disruptions, the costs go down – it’s an act of God and you have to sleep at the airport.  No hotel vouchers for you!

And the food can cost as much as $13,000 for a wide-bodied international trip. That’s $40 on average, per meal. Are you kidding me?! Despite the high average I can tell you – what they serve in business and first class sure doesn’t balance out the cost of the lousy meals served in economy. To be sure, business class passengers get all the perks – they might even get your plane if there is something wrong with yours. They’ll take an airplane that you might be on, with a whole bunch of “less important people” and switch out your plane, just so these guys can get to where they’re going!  Airlines don’t like to cancel these business travelers – they’re frequent travelers and they will complain. I know. Hey, that’s life in the fast lane.

Confessions of a Photoholic: The art formerly known as prints

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I remember those days clearly. Ten canisters of black and white triex and ten canisters of ectochrome 400. Life was simple. Shots were precious. Moments were calculated. Settings were moved around. The mystery was in the box – only to be revealed, often too late, when you returned home. I have trays of slides and sheets of contact photos that I need to get into the digital environment.

And now I don’t even carry a camera. I take my iPhone and capture moments like they were a dime a dozen. And guess what, the moments are pretty good. I delete, I forward, I post to Facebook. I throw them into Dropbox and make them part of my lock screen. Never get prints. Unless my mum says, “where are all those photos you took of me?” The photography sometimes amazing, even if I do say so myself. The videos better than that great big thing you used to lug around.

I am torn, of course. I still have my Nikkomat camera, a clunky 1970s piece of art where I learned to take photographs, determining F stops and ASA, getting the right setting – all for that one shot. I miss those days sometimes – the excitement of getting home and seeing whether you really did nail the shot. It was a time to behold.

The Tale of Two Toilets

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A Tale of Two Toilets

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. A journey across the Alps often began in medieval times  at the ancient crossroads of the Castle of Chillon; beautifully situated on the Northern Shores of Lake Leman, it is a stunning sight engulfed by snowcapped mountains. This fortress was rarely breached, and inside the fort to this day, there are fantastic remnants of original furnishings, art work and tapestries.

The most interesting thing of all, are the ancient latrines – jutting out over the lake, some forty feet higher than the lake itself, the auto flush was better than your state-of-the-art septic system.  Interestingly enough, the latrines were considered a vulnerable aspect of the fortress.  When attack was imminent, considerations had to be made to deter the onslaught, all sorts of nasty organic weapons could be used. Biological warfare!  Probably everyone in the castle was force fed prunes before the attack.  In other words, if someone wasn’t sitting on the latrine at all times, the fort was vulnerable and the kingdom could be breached!

toilet

Fast forward to modern day: the Swiss have gotten a heck of a lot better with their state-of-the-art latrines, but over on the Italian side of the Alps, things look pretty much the same as they did in the 13th Century in the Chateau de Chillon. All apparently in the name of hygiene, at least that’s what my Italian friend told me. Yeah right! I’ll take my chances.

Ice Cream in the London Theater

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Ice Cream in the London Theater

It’s not just a matter of –re or –er, though for some it’s enough to start a polite brawl,  if you love theatre you’re sure to have an opinion about Broadway vs. West End.  An argument for why London theatre is superior, an argument which has no rebuttal, is a simple one:  Broadway doesn’t have ice cream in the auditorium. The West End theatres do.

Theatre in London, despite prevailing stereotypes, is not a posh affair.  It feels much like a sporting event at half-time – vendors with ice cream on trays and everyone clamoring for the elusive strawberry cup. My choice, always vanilla. Losely Ice Cream is the crowd favorite. The utensil? The best wooden tiny spoon available, of course!  And let’s not forget the wine with your name on it, that you’ve pre-paid at the beginning of the show. It is why I simply cannot abide no intermission theatre!

To my mind, the key element of a play is an intermission glass of wine (probably put you to sleep) and then an intermission ice cream cup (definitely keep you up) to see the rest of the play. The downside of taking your ice cream with you to your seat, is that when the lights go down, there’s a fairly good chance that you might miss your mouth. And ice cream does drip after all! Still it keeps you on your toes, and more importantly keeps you awake during dreary performances. In addition, Ice Cream keeps you deliciously satiated during uplifting performances.  I’ve drifted off. It’s happened to me, it will happen to you. It’s happened in London and New York – and usually it is measured by the quality of the performance. Feeling sleepy? Bad play. Definitely need ice cream.

The plays come and go – some spectacular, others forgettable. But what never disappoints, is the ice cream. The history of ice cream in the theatre is up for debate, it was certainly introduced sometime toward the end of the 19th century and almost certainly by an Italian, or some say a Swiss Italian. Talking of posh affairs, it was actually introduced to the Royal Opera House as late as 1967.

Quite recently I saw an Arthur Miller play in London and had seats on the stage. The seats were fabulous, the play “View from the Bridge,” was amazing. But there was no intermission AND ice cream was barred from the stage seating. As much as I loved the performances, I couldn’t recommend it!

Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon

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Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon

Nothing is open and because it’s the law, shops can’t open either.  My first thought is that it’s because the shops took all my money between Monday through Friday. When you charge $15 for a cappuccino why bother opening on a Saturday or a Sunday? In fact, the prices in Switzerland seem to be calculated on fewer sales’ days per year.

At first one resists the urge to slow down because It seems so unnatural, and life screeches to an abrupt halt on a weekly basis.  But perhaps it is this forced relaxation that keeps the Swiss culture so balanced.  So on a Sunday you go for walks if the weather is nice; you watch dreadful TV,  take photos with Charlie Chaplin (with detox in the background) purely coincidental, or go skiing again.  The resorts and other tourist points of interest, of course, are exempt from this law.

Walking around Lausanne looking for somewhere to grab a bite, grab a beer or grab a cab even, is a mission improbable. Let that one go, yah, it’s nice to go from Evian to Lausanne on a boat, but even the boat doesn’t provide too much in the way of refreshments on a Sunday. Overall it reminded me of Britain in the 1950s. Governed as we were at the time, by laws created by the Lord’s Day Observance Society, we were forbidden from having fun, from buying anything.  Our television programs were centered around songs of praise and TV would end at 11:00pm on the dot. I used to simply loathe Sundays.

My Sunday in Lausanne took me back to the glory days of the 50s, but was saved by a visit to the fabulous Hermitage and the Olympic Museum.  Crowded by tourists and Lausannians, looking for something to do on a Sunday, other than ski.

Skiing is Believing

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Skiing is Believing (especially when you get old)

When you can’t see a thing
in front of you, visibility is zero,
and your confidence
is becoming increasingly
shattered – skiing is believing.

When the possibility of being plowed
over by a 16 year-old going 100mph
or dropping into the crevasse
never to be found again is increasing
and you have to anticipate the mogul
around the corner.

Somehow you have to believe
the skis will guide you home.
As improbable as it seems
at 10,000 feet in a blizzard.

Man against nature,
the will to survive,
will carry you through.

And this is on piste,
on an intermediate slope.

 

 

Introduction to Swiss Economy 101

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Introduction to Swiss Economy 101

Now that the Swiss Franc is finally unplugged from the Euro and prices have gone up by around 30%, Switzerland has finally come clean and taken over from Norway and Japan as the most expensive cup of coffee in the world. Even more expensive than that is St. Mark’s Square!  It got me to thinking, what is it about this landlocked country that was famous for its neutrality during the war, what is it that makes this place such a success?  Walking through Geneva airport, you are struck by ads for banks, watches and Roger Federer, but what is the economy of Switzerland really all about?

It’s a mélange of laundered money, dry cleaned money, and ill-gotten money in banks protected by mountains (of bureaucracy) and lakes of cash – and lots of fresh air to hide the dubious underbelly. Throw in cheese, tourism, pharmaceuticals, and skiing and you have an ideal setting for The Sound of Music and the perfect setting for my annual ski trip.

Ski Diet Recipes

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Why do people ski in Switzerland?  Because if they didn’t, they’d weigh 400 pounds.  I’ve taken the liberty of finding some links to my favorite Swiss recipes.
1.       Rosti potatoes with fried eggs and ham Eating Well Recipe.
2.       Fondue (melted cheese ) with bread and potatoes (photos)
4. I’m surprised there aren’t cheese doughnuts. Oh wait, upon further research, there are.
Thank goodness I only head to Switzerland on an annual basis – cheese in these quantities is not sustainable for any heart.

This Month’s Adventures: A Swing Around Switzerland!

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I love the drive from Geneva to Zermatt: a long transition from moderate temperatures to ski station weather. The drive around Lake Geneva is stunning, passing Lausanne and Montreux with distant ski resorts across the other side of the lake. The real changes come as we catch our first glimpse of the cog railway, a beautiful red snake-like train that winds through the valleys and mountains. We are heading to Tasch, where a huge underground car park sits. Everyone drops their cars off, grabs a baggage trolley, and transfers ski contents from the car to the trolley. Then it’s to the station for the cog rail to Zermatt. The journey takes about 30 minutes.  It’s a slow climb, winding around the snowy valley floor and under the shadow of the giant Matterhorn. In Zermatt, it’s a short walk to the hotel: no cars except electric taxis. On to the Hotel Alex….it feels like home.

Chapter 3: Snowconomics and Why Someone Else Should Shovel Your Snow

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Chapter 3:  Snowconomics and Why Someone Else Should Shovel Your Snow

Shoveling snow is a New England tradition; a tradition we’d largely escaped this winter season. It almost seemed the snow wouldn’t come – a signal of global warming? Just days after two snow storms heralded in record amounts of snow, it now appears that Mother Nature was simply playing tricks on us.

Soon after the snow comes “the shovelers.”  Like Christmas Carolers, they bring joy to those that open the door. “Do you need your car shoveled out? On its face, a straight-forward question.  But deep within the syntax lurks a challenge to one’s virility. A man does not NEED to have his car shoveled out. He is able-bodied. He should throw himself into the trenches and dig along with the rest of them. Shoveling snow has long been perceived to be a man’s duty, like barbecuing.  But the truth is, the casual snow shoveling industry is a chance to spread the wealth to those in need. With public transit systems in disarray, many lower-wage earners find themselves in a pinch. Many take to the streets, offering to shovel out their neighbors.

It’s an underground industry – cash only. Though I’m sure this would be an opportunity for Square and other mobile payment mechanisms. But here’s the thing, if you have a good salary and you feel that shoveling snow is a great way to work out, remember you’re breaking the economic cycle. The fact is if you want to keep fit, go to the gym. There’s a guy walking along the street with a shovel who needs your money. And he’ll do a better job than you.

 

Chapter 2 – Top 5 Things You Need to Know about Snow

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Chapter 2 – Top 5 Things You Need to Know about Snow

I’m learning things about snow that I never cared to know. And yet now that I know, I feel richer, a more well-rounded citizen. I thought I’d share with you:

  1. Ice Dams are a thing and they can crush your roof. The best of all these tips is the last one (move to Florida).
  2. There won’t be a Boston Snow Party. Much to the chagrin of pun people everywhere, snow can’t just be dumped into the ocean. Well it can, but then the fish might die and Legal Sea Foods new slogan could be, “If it doesn’t taste like snow melt, it’s not legal.”
  3. Jet-Engine propelled snow plows are a thing, It’s called Snowzilla and watching the video just forces the question. Are we living in the 80s when it comes to snow removal? You bet. Using a giant hair dryer to clear railway lines is as good as it gets.
  4. Snow Farms are also a thing  Or a misnomer really, as they don’t grow snow here. It just gets dumped, sometimes into a giant furnace. So why do they call it a farm? Horses, cows, vegetables, corn – that’s what I think of when I think of a farm. So this isn’t really a farm. I just don’t really know who came up with this word for a wasteland to dump snow. Maybe next spring, unaccountable alien forms will start growing in this space.
  5. Men driving 10 ton snow plows are working 16 hour days.  Everyone, let’s face it. Wants just a few hours riding high on a snow plow. What a feeling, pulling the lever, dumping the salt, clearing the snow. Working through the night. These guys are the real heroes of our city. Where’s their Duck Boat Parade?